WotWentWrong

Note: This is a guest post by WeLoveDates

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just about looks.

What you’re NOT wearing. 

What women wear can tell a guy a lot about them, but what they aren’t wearing says even more.  When you walk into a room, what you don’t have on is just as important as what you do. Of course, it’s all assumptions, but that’s what first impressions are all about.  A guy will do a quick scan when he see’s a woman he finds attractive, making sure you aren’t wearing the obvious things like a wedding ring, but that’s not all that he will base his initial judgments on. He might notice that you aren’t wearing any makeup, and he’ll assume that you are laid back and low maintenance, perfectly comfortable in your own skin…even though the  truth is that you just rolled out of bed to grab a coffee and you never like leaving the house without a full face on.  Or maybe he notices that you are overdressed, wearing heels in a sea of flip-flops, and wrongly assumes that you must be super high maintenance…when in actuality, you have dinner plans later that caused you to dress up a bit more than usual.

How you treat the people around you.

Women always talk about how one of the biggest red flags when dating is if a guy is rude to a server, bartender or valet.  But the same goes for women, except it doesn’t just apply to those in the service industry. Men are looking to see how you treat the people you’re with, and the people you’re not with.  Women have a bad reputation of being a bit catty, especially when there are other attractive women in their midst.  Do you roll your eyes at someone’s outfit, or appear standoffish in situations when you’re a bit uncomfortable?  Above all, men are attracted to women who won’t be full of drama, so if a guy notices that you’re easy to get along with and not easily threatened, he’ll assume that you’re easy-going and therefore be more likely to approach you.

Your energy and confidence.

You know how some women breeze into a room and it’s actually more like a tornado-they have so.much.energy!  Maybe they talk a mile a minute, and seem like they take over the place with their intense personalities.  Or how other women fly under the radar, not desperate to be the center of attention-quite the opposite actually.  They are subtle and demand attention in their own way.  One personality type isn’t better than the other.  What’s crucial is that the way you act in public is a correct reflection of what kind of person you are, and no matter what you do you with the utmost confidence.  Trying to be someone you’re not might work initially, but if you’re hoping to meet someone for the long-term, he’ll eventually get to see your true colors.  If you’re hyper, rock it.  If you’re shy and reserved, own it.  Do you-nobody does it better.

 WeLoveDates is a worldwide online dating site. Join for free using code WLD GUEST and check out their free guide to online dating eBook. For more dating advice and tips, visit their popular WeLoveDates blog.

A guest post by Deanna Atkins for CupidsPulse.com

It used to be clear: If a guy was interested in you, he would ask for your number. If you were intrigued, you’d comply and give up the goods. After that, it would be up to the gentleman to decide when to call you and ask you out (or not).

This method seemed simple enough, so when did all of this ambiguity arise in the dating world?

Well, let’s review.

When was the last time you received a phone call from a boy who wanted to take you out on a date? When was the last time you were asked out on an actual date, even just dinner and a movie? And when was the last time you pursued your crush without using Facebook to help you out? That’s what we thought.

Without even realizing it, Facebook has embedded itself into the way we interact with people. It’s easier to send someone a friend request after you’ve first met than to actually ask for his or her number. There’s less investment and less of a risk this way, which can make the gesture seem less sincere – and sometimes, it is.

A friend request can insinuate one of three things: that he’s into you; that he’s social and likes to accumulate Facebook friends; or that he literally just wants to be your friend. It can mean something, or it can mean absolutely nothing, which can be highly discouraging if you have hyped yourself up and called all of your friends and grandmother because of that one notification.

Without playing the devil’s advocate here, let’s assume that he friended you in an effort to get your attention and get to know you better. It’s still lame and not nearly as gratifying as if he asked you out in person. Sure, it’s a reason to be excited, but it’s not very romantic. You want a guy to have a little more guts than that, right ladies?

Consider how many times you have met a guy and immediately checked out his Facebook stats. You analyze his Facebook activity, or you may get a little more stalker-ish and look at his past relationships as well as every picture on his page. All girls engage in this behavior at one time or another – it’s like a routine. We’re all judgmental beings, and Facebook can just make us mean.

It’s hard to tell whether or not Mark Zuckerberg’s baby helps or hurts modern daters, but one thing can be determined: It’s not beneficial to couples. Those Facebook users who are involved in relationships can now access entirely too much information about their significant other. You can dig up dirt on your partner and also build-up ammunition for your next argument. People from your past can come back to haunt you. Of course, they may just want to “reconnect,” but that can be a dangerous path to venture down. What can start out as a meaningless chat with your ex can lead to something that makes your spouse really uncomfortable and upset.

There are ways to navigate the pitfalls that Facebook brings to relationships. For instance, my parents each have Facebook accounts, but they know each other’s passwords and have access to one another’s pages. Ask yourself: Would you give your password to your partner? If not, are there things that you’re hiding? Is your committed relationship really that perfect if you need to keep things from your significant other?

Until now, couples never had to worry about these things. Maybe it’s better to discover things about your partner sooner than later, but remember that it’s a give and take. It’s not being naive, but there are certain things you’re just better off not knowing.

It’s important to remember that Facebook isn’t evil. It allows you to instantly get in touch with tons of people while making you feel important, wanted and in-demand – which you are! But when it comes to dating, we need to bring ourselves back to the real world. Instead of poking that hot bartender on Facebook, go get a drink with your girlfriends and try chatting him up. You’ll feel so much better when you come out from behind your computer screen and make a real connection.

CupidsPulse.com is a first-of-its-kind relationship site that takes the latest celebrity news and repackages it to help singles and couples navigate their love lives. 

I think we’ve all been there.  We’ve spotted that guy across the room that has the kind of presence that few men have.  He’s magnetic.  And charming.  Or at least it seems so – because the women seem to swarm around him like moths to a flame.    These women use all the tricks up their sleeves to get his attention – they are provocative and flirty.  And at some point, this guy will probably walk out with one of these girls on his arm.

“What was it about this girl that he chose her?”, we ask ourselves.  But are we asking ourselves the right question?  Perhaps we should be asking whether an encounter like this between these two people actually has any hope of going anywhere long term.  This girl captured his attention, but for how long?

According to Rori Raye, relationship expert, in a recent video stream, women are going about trying to snag a guy in all the wrong ways, and the women that use their sexuality and let things get physical too soon are setting themselves up for failure.  That is not the way to create a lasting connection with a man.  So maybe that girl had a fun night with the charismatic guy, but it probably didn’t go anywhere.

So when did women start chasing men?  Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around?  Has equality gone too far?  Something to think about.

That’s not the only thing we’re doing wrong, Rori tells us.  Engaging with guys on an intellectual or mental level ain’t going to cut it either. Men don’t fall in love with our brains.

So what is the key, then?  An emotional connection, apparently.  If I understood Rori correctly, she advises that we make ourselves more open, more vulnerable , and in turn, our prospective guy will return the favor.

To watch the full videostream from Rori Raye, see below.

Rori teaches specific things you can do to raise your self-esteem that will make you irresistible to a man. To learn more subscribe to her free relationship advice e-newsletter. You’ll learn a whole new way of relating to men that will make you feel better about yourself while you find the relationship of your dreams.