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It used to be so simple. Painful, of course, but simple at least. He sent his buddy to break up with you (if you were in grade school), or he did it over the phone. Now the possibilities for breakups are almost endless. IM, Skype, Facebook, Twitter, Text, Email… It seems the more connected we are these days, the easier it is to avoid the uncomfortable breakup by hiding behind these technologies.

Drew Barrymore said it best.

Men and women alike are using these technologies to send the message “I’m just not that into you!” But have we gone too far? Are we eroding all sense of courtesy and responsibility by employing these tactics?

I had a friend who was de-friended on Facebook – that was the first inkling he had that she wasn’t seeing him anymore. Ouch. But perhaps it says more about her than it does him. They had been seeing other for about 6 weeks. Surely she could have braved a conversation, or perhaps a less cowardly text message. Wow. I never thought I’d hear myself say that a text message is less cowardly.

Facebook leads to the demise of countless relationships. Pictures, status updates and wall posts from the wrong person can lead to jealousy and lack of trust. Like my friend, it’s even possible to find out you’ve been dumped just by logging onto Facebook! A text is bad, but breaking up with someone on a social network – that’s like making an announcement about it to everyone you know. It’s humiliating! Not to mention you were probably the last to know.

Will we get to a point where I will think a Facebook de-friend is preferable to something else? Where does the degradation end?

For anyone who watched last season of the Bachelor, I’m sure you remember runner-up, Lindzi Cox. On the show, Lindzi shared with viewers that prior to coming on the Bachelor, she was dumped by a text message sent by her (now ex) boyfriend of about a year! The text read: “Welcome to Dumpsville…population YOU!” Lindzi said that the Dumpsville text was worse than being dumped on national TV.

It’s not about the method of technology used (they’re all bad), but the message being sent. Using technology to breakup with someone is like saying ‘our relationship meant nothing to me, so little in fact it’s not worth my time to talk about it, so I’m going to send you a one sentence text and then move on with my life.’ It’s harsh, I know.

When technology is used to end a relationship, there is no sense of closure. Julia, a friend of mine, was dumped via text message. She called her ex to try and get some answers, but he labeled her as a stalker and told all of his friends she was crazy.  She’s not crazy; she just wanted a straightforward answer. To this day she doesn’t understand what went wrong in that relationship.

It’s common courtesy people!  Breakups are uncomfortable, awkward and painful for everyone involved, but having an adult conversation is still the best way to do it. With a deep breath and little bit of confidence (and maybe some rehearsing) you’ll get through it. In the end, you’ll still have your dignity and your ex will— in time, respect you for it.

Note: This is a guest post by WeLoveDates

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just about looks.

What you’re NOT wearing. 

What women wear can tell a guy a lot about them, but what they aren’t wearing says even more.  When you walk into a room, what you don’t have on is just as important as what you do. Of course, it’s all assumptions, but that’s what first impressions are all about.  A guy will do a quick scan when he see’s a woman he finds attractive, making sure you aren’t wearing the obvious things like a wedding ring, but that’s not all that he will base his initial judgments on. He might notice that you aren’t wearing any makeup, and he’ll assume that you are laid back and low maintenance, perfectly comfortable in your own skin…even though the  truth is that you just rolled out of bed to grab a coffee and you never like leaving the house without a full face on.  Or maybe he notices that you are overdressed, wearing heels in a sea of flip-flops, and wrongly assumes that you must be super high maintenance…when in actuality, you have dinner plans later that caused you to dress up a bit more than usual.

How you treat the people around you.

Women always talk about how one of the biggest red flags when dating is if a guy is rude to a server, bartender or valet.  But the same goes for women, except it doesn’t just apply to those in the service industry. Men are looking to see how you treat the people you’re with, and the people you’re not with.  Women have a bad reputation of being a bit catty, especially when there are other attractive women in their midst.  Do you roll your eyes at someone’s outfit, or appear standoffish in situations when you’re a bit uncomfortable?  Above all, men are attracted to women who won’t be full of drama, so if a guy notices that you’re easy to get along with and not easily threatened, he’ll assume that you’re easy-going and therefore be more likely to approach you.

Your energy and confidence.

You know how some women breeze into a room and it’s actually more like a tornado-they have so.much.energy!  Maybe they talk a mile a minute, and seem like they take over the place with their intense personalities.  Or how other women fly under the radar, not desperate to be the center of attention-quite the opposite actually.  They are subtle and demand attention in their own way.  One personality type isn’t better than the other.  What’s crucial is that the way you act in public is a correct reflection of what kind of person you are, and no matter what you do you with the utmost confidence.  Trying to be someone you’re not might work initially, but if you’re hoping to meet someone for the long-term, he’ll eventually get to see your true colors.  If you’re hyper, rock it.  If you’re shy and reserved, own it.  Do you-nobody does it better.

 WeLoveDates is a worldwide online dating site. Join for free using code WLD GUEST and check out their free guide to online dating eBook. For more dating advice and tips, visit their popular WeLoveDates blog.

Back in college, I knew this girl Lauren. Lauren was known for her reputation, and it wasn’t a good one. She was beautiful, outgoing and a lot of fun.  Unfortunately that wasn’t all that she was known for.  Lauren was also known as the campus “bike”. I watched her go home with different guys almost every weekend, but I figured that this was college and she should be allowed to have her fun.”  Isn’t it every girl’s right to explore her sexuality in college away from the prying eyes of her parents?

Lauren had been “seeing” (sleeping with) this one guy, Kyle, for almost a month when she mentioned to me that she was starting to really like him. But as soon as she let her feelings be known to Kyle, he bailed.

Now, Kyle was actually a friend of mine, so I decided to investigate.  I asked him what went wrong. His response: “Yeah she’s cool, but I’d never date her.  Who knows how many people she’s been with, or what she would do behind my back.”  Kyle and Lauren had jumped into the sack right from the start, and he also knew of her reputation.  So his concern wasn’t entirely unfounded.

This scenario seemed to play over time and again for Lauren. I watched time and again as Lauren was treated as a commodity and passed over once the initial attraction had been satiated.  It made me wonder, once you are known to be promiscuous and have had a certain number of sexual partners, is there any correlation between your number of sexual partners and your dateability?

Every person is different when it comes to sex. Lauren is an extreme example. But, just to give some perspective, the Kinsey Institute found that the average number of sexual partners for women is 4; for men, its 6-8. This research was done a few years ago, so don’t have a panic attack if your number is a little higher. This just shows where most people fall on the scale. For instance, Lauren’s number was a (very high) multiple of 4; I wouldn’t recommend that.

Where men get praised for sleeping around, women are called sluts. But it takes two to tango, so every time a guy puts another notch on his bedpost, so do the girls. And now that we are getting married at an older age and starting to have sex at a younger age the time gap between your first sexual encounter and your wedding date increases the amount of time a woman is sexually active, so naturally numbers will be a bit higher.

This is one of the biggest double standards around.  A woman’s number shouldn’t stop a man from wanting to settle down with her, or have a relationship longer than a one night stand. Some of those guys who wouldn’t date Lauren probably had numbers just as high, if not higher, than hers.

In America, 96 percent of women who have slept with more than 20 men can’t find a husband. Don’t worry! This statistic is not real, but it is the premise of the movie “What’s Your Number?”  starring Ana Farris.

Like the protagonist in this movie I started thinking, is there a number that is too high? Can the number of partners you’ve had make you un-dateable or undesirable? If so, what is the turning point between having fun and earning a bad reputation?

What’s the big fuss over this number? Why is it more acceptable for men to have a higher number? Is it an ego thing, is it jealousy, is it about wanting a conservative girl to bring home to mom, or is it just competitive nature? And girls, are you embarrassed by your number, proud of it, or so indifferent about it that you never even bothered to count?

How many people have you slept with?  Is it too high?  I’d love to know, so please comment and share your opinions.