Women: Have you ever had a male friend you knew would take things further with you if you let him?
Men: Have you ever had a female friend you would jump given half the chance?
Well, it seems that if you answered “no” to the questions above, you are probably in the minority. According to this video below (and also to Harry from When Harry met Sally), men and women can never truly be friends.
What I find really interesting about this video is that it seems that while women think friendships with men are possible, they are also secretly well aware that their male friend would pursue more than friendship with them if given the green light. And the men, across the board, deny the possibility of this platonic friendship with their female counterparts, which suggests to me that these guys are playing the long game: biding their time until they make their move.
I think back to all of my friendships with guys. I’ve always enjoyed having platonic friendships with guys because of their relative simplicity and ease. Men are usually pretty direct; there isn’t a lot of subterfuge or hidden allegiances. Or at least that’s what I thought. But if I consider this new information that I’ve just learned, it’s not that there aren’t hidden motives; those motives are just different. They’re of a sexual nature.
Did I really not realize that? If I’m being totally honest, I probably did. I just chose not to go there, because it was convenient for me to ignore it. I liked having the companionship of a male. The way I related to my guy friends vs my girl friends was really very different and I didn’t want to give up that kind of friendship.
If I look into my past, I don’t need to look too hard to find examples of cross gender friendships that I’ve had that have resulted in a “move” being made. And after that move has been made and been unsuccessful, the friendship usually ends pretty quickly. Other friendships I’ve had with men have dwindled down considerably after he’s found a girlfriend. Hmmm.
And then I can’t help but look at the friendships I’ve had with men who are already in relationships. Historically, I’ve always been quite happy to have these friendships because the likelihood of this “move” being made on me is far reduced (albeit not entirely improbable). Of course, there exists another factor in the relationship – the suspicion of the wife/girlfriend, which isn’t entirely pleasant, despite my honorable intentions. Harry seems to have an opinion on this too:
So where does that leave me? As a single gal, I want to have the benefit of male company without the associated sexual implications (unless I want them of course). But it seems, according to the theories presented above via the wonders of YouTube, that this isn’t such an easy situation to create. What do you think?